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Sperm Donor 6/11/2007
a man and a woman were waiting at the hospital center
man: "what are you doing here today? woman:"oh
i'm here to donate some blood they're going to
give me $5 for it" man: "Hmm thats interesting
i'm here to donate sperm myself but they pay me $25"
the woman looked thoughtful for a moment and the chatted
some more before going their separate ways ...
0 Comments, 43 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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IS HELL HOT? 6/11/2007
>The following is supposedly an actual question given
on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The
answer by one student was so "profound" that
the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,
which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying
it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or
endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the ...
0 Comments, 58 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Magic apples 6/11/2007
a young fellow ran into an old man who was carring a bag What's
in the bag? the youngster asks magic apples the old man replied
prove it said the young man well besides apples what is your
favorite two fruits? asked the old man watermelon and peaches
he answered the man handed him an apple and ...
0 Comments, 53 Views,
4 Votes
,3.25 Score
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Death bed 6/11/2007
a man lies on his deathbed surrounded by his family a weeping
wife and four Three of the are tall good
looking and athletic but the fourth and the youngest is
an ugly runt Darling wife the husband whispers assure me
that the youngest really is mine i want to know the
truth before i die i will forgive you if The wife ...
0 Comments, 50 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
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The answer to the question 6/11/2007
if peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers how many
pickled peppers did he pick? The answer is peter piper couldn't
pick a peck of pickled peppers because pickled peppers
aren't pickled when there picked
0 Comments, 17 Views,
0 Votes
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Red Hat Tips? 6/11/2007
Three Misses from the red hat society go to see a male stripper
he comes over ans dances for them the first lady takes out
a 10 licks it and sticks it to his butt the second lady looks
around takes out a 20 and licks it then sticks it on his butt
the third woman thinks a minute..... takes out her credit
card swipes it through his crack she takes the $30 and goes
to the bar
0 Comments, 28 Views,
0 Votes
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Breakfast 6/11/2007
she was in the kitchen preparing boiled eggs for breakfast
Her husband walks in and asks, "whats for breakfast?"
she turns to him and anxiously says "Quick! you've
got to make love to me this very moment! thinking it's
his lucky day he bends her over the kitchen table and they
have sex when ...
0 Comments, 31 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Similar 6/11/2007
Q: how are parsley & pussy hair similar? A: they both
get pushed aside to eat
0 Comments, 23 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Who would get to new york first? 6/11/2007
if 2 homosexual guys were planning to go from San Francisco
to New york at the same time 2 Lesbians were going to New York
from San Francisco who would arrive first Answer: the guys
would be packing their shit while the Lesbians were going
lickedy split
0 Comments, 39 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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Sophie & Ernie 6/10/2007
"sophie your tits are too small and hard and your pussy
is too tight Ernie you dumb shit get off my back"
0 Comments, 59 Views,
2 Votes
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the other elderly couple! 6/10/2007
an elderly couple went to the doctor and asked the doctor
to give her a prescription for viagra for her husband their
sex life has slowed down with their age she told the doctor
that her husband didn't like taking pills so the doctor
suggested that she put it in his coffee and he wouldn't
know the difference the doctor wrote the prescription
and told her to come back in a week and let him how it ...
0 Comments, 53 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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the Rooster& the cat 6/10/2007
A cockerel(male chicken)and a cat was walking in the forest
they came to a river and wanted to cross over but there was
no bridge thinking quickly the rooster flap its wings and
flew across to the other side once there it was very happy
with itself and crowed aloud the cat decide to jump across
the river but didn't make it and landed in the water
instead it climbed up from the other side ...
0 Comments, 41 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
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Bedroom Golf 6/9/2007
--------------------------------------------- Bedroom Golf
* Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play.
Normally one club and two (2) balls.
* Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the holes.
* Owner of the course must approve the equipment before
may begin.
* For most effective play, the club must have a firm shaft. ...
0 Comments, 39 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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How Should I Know? 6/9/2007
A married couple was asleep when the telephone
rang at two in the morning. The wife, a blonde, picked up
the telephone, listened a moment and said, "How should
I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung
up. The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said,
"I don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if
the coast is clear.'" ...
0 Comments, 63 Views,
5 Votes
,2.82 Score
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Math Lesson 6/9/2007
A professor of mathematics sent a fax
to his wife. It read:
"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years
old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able
to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I
sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn
that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the
Grand Hotel with my ...
0 Comments, 57 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Definition 6/9/2007
Tact the ability to tell someone to "Go to Hell"
and male them feel happy to be on their way....
0 Comments, 22 Views,
3 Votes
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advantage's over beer and pussy 6/8/2007
if you try a different brand of beer your old brand will gradly
have you back advanange-beer a beer is always wet a pussy
needs you to encourage it first advantage beer a beer taste
horrible served warm a pussy taste better served hot advantage-hot
pussy if you get a hair in your touth from eating pussy you
are not disgusted advantage hairy ...
0 Comments, 27 Views,
4 Votes
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Cybersex 6/8/2007
Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately
known as "cybersex." Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through
Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll
see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following
transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite
get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
Wellhung: Hello ...
0 Comments, 60 Views,
11 Votes
,4.10 Score
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shot her mouth off 6/7/2007
the rookie cop was telling his partner about the fun he had
at a party the night before i had just shown up when this terrific
chick took me by the hand and led me to her car the young cop
said excitedly once in her car she unzipped me and pulled
my dong out she srarted sucking on it and giving me a blow
job and i had never even asked her name so what did you do?
the older cop asked "at that ...
0 Comments, 70 Views,
4 Votes
,0.14 Score
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hook line and sinker! 6/7/2007
"honey "the wife said sweetly to her husband
at the breakfast table do you remember the bass you spent
a weekend fishing for a couple of months ago? "yeah
of course " muttered the husband putting down his
newspaper one of them called to tell you you're going
to be a father!
0 Comments, 70 Views,
4 Votes
,1.30 Score
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always listen carefully 6/7/2007
"hey jerk-off "complained the young woman
to her boyfriend "you promised to take me to florida!
"i never promised you any such thing "insisted
her man friend "all i said was i am going to tamper with
you!
0 Comments, 44 Views,
4 Votes
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Harley davidson meets God 6/7/2007
Arthur Davidson, the inventor of the Harley-Davidson
motorcycle, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've
been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the
world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want
in Heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute, then said, "I
want to hang out with God."
God recognized ...
0 Comments, 47 Views,
0 Votes
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another really bad joke! 6/7/2007
a set of jumper cables walked into a bar i'll served
you said the bartender "but you better nit start anything!
0 Comments, 26 Views,
2 Votes
,0.34 Score
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Blonde Joke 6/7/2007
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered
their drinks from the bartender.
Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender:"What is a B and C?".
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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poor ed 6/7/2007
Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a
gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"
The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his
wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a gift
box wrapped in the middle of ...
0 Comments, 34 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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car 6/7/2007
an irishman walks out of a pub stumbling back and forth with
a key in his hand a cop on the beat sees him and approaches
him "can i help you lad? "yesss, sssshombody
stole my car! the irishman replies the cop asks "well
now where was your car the last time you saw it? "it
was at the end of my key" about this time the cop looks
down to see that the irishnan's member is being exhibited
for ...
0 Comments, 45 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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hardware store 6/6/2007
a couple just got a new house the husband turned to his wife
and ask her to go to the hardware store and get a door hinge
for him she kindly agreed and left when she got to the hardware
store got the hinge and put it on the counter in front of the
clerk ho noticed that she didn't have any screws for
that hinge? she looked back at him and said "No but
i'll blow you for that toaster in the window"
2 Comments, 97 Views,
9 Votes
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ex wife 6/6/2007
a man and his wife are dinning at a plush restaurant and the
husband kept staring at a drunken old lady swigging her
gin she was sitting all alone his wife asked "do you
know her? "yes answered the husband "she's
my ex wife she srarted drinking after we divorced 7 years
ago she hasn't been sober since" oh my god! says
the wife "thats along time to celebrate!
0 Comments, 66 Views,
6 Votes
,1.66 Score
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blow-up-doll 6/6/2007
a man walks into a porn shop and asks for a blow-up-doll the
clerk says "would you like a muslim or american blow-up-doll?
he replies "whats the difference?" the clerk
simply says "the muslim on blows herself up"
0 Comments, 70 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score
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bear on the roof 6/6/2007
a man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof so he looks
in the yellow pages and sure enough theres an ad for "Bear
Removers" he calls the number the bear remover says
he'll be over in 30 minutes the bear remover arrives
and gets out of his van he's got a ladder a baseball bat
a shotgun and a mean old pit bull dog "what are you going
to do the home owner asks? i'm going to put this ...
1 Comments, 58 Views,
9 Votes
,2.57 Score
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