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Cybersex 6/8/2007
Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately
known as "cybersex." Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through
Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll
see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following
transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite
get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
Wellhung: Hello ...
0 Comments, 60 Views,
11 Votes
,4.10 Score
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shot her mouth off 6/7/2007
the rookie cop was telling his partner about the fun he had
at a party the night before i had just shown up when this terrific
chick took me by the hand and led me to her car the young cop
said excitedly once in her car she unzipped me and pulled
my dong out she srarted sucking on it and giving me a blow
job and i had never even asked her name so what did you do?
the older cop asked "at that ...
0 Comments, 70 Views,
4 Votes
,0.14 Score
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hook line and sinker! 6/7/2007
"honey "the wife said sweetly to her husband
at the breakfast table do you remember the bass you spent
a weekend fishing for a couple of months ago? "yeah
of course " muttered the husband putting down his
newspaper one of them called to tell you you're going
to be a father!
0 Comments, 70 Views,
4 Votes
,1.30 Score
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always listen carefully 6/7/2007
"hey jerk-off "complained the young woman
to her boyfriend "you promised to take me to florida!
"i never promised you any such thing "insisted
her man friend "all i said was i am going to tamper with
you!
0 Comments, 44 Views,
4 Votes
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Harley davidson meets God 6/7/2007
Arthur Davidson, the inventor of the Harley-Davidson
motorcycle, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've
been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the
world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want
in Heaven."
Arthur thought about it for a minute, then said, "I
want to hang out with God."
God recognized ...
0 Comments, 47 Views,
0 Votes
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another really bad joke! 6/7/2007
a set of jumper cables walked into a bar i'll served
you said the bartender "but you better nit start anything!
0 Comments, 26 Views,
2 Votes
,0.34 Score
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Blonde Joke 6/7/2007
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered
their drinks from the bartender.
Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."
Bartender:"What is a B and C?".
Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."
Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."
Bartender: "What's a G and T?"
Redhead: "Gin and tonic."
Blonde: "I'll have a 15."
Bartender: ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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poor ed 6/7/2007
Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a
gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"
The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his
wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a gift
box wrapped in the middle of ...
0 Comments, 34 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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car 6/7/2007
an irishman walks out of a pub stumbling back and forth with
a key in his hand a cop on the beat sees him and approaches
him "can i help you lad? "yesss, sssshombody
stole my car! the irishman replies the cop asks "well
now where was your car the last time you saw it? "it
was at the end of my key" about this time the cop looks
down to see that the irishnan's member is being exhibited
for ...
0 Comments, 45 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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hardware store 6/6/2007
a couple just got a new house the husband turned to his wife
and ask her to go to the hardware store and get a door hinge
for him she kindly agreed and left when she got to the hardware
store got the hinge and put it on the counter in front of the
clerk ho noticed that she didn't have any screws for
that hinge? she looked back at him and said "No but
i'll blow you for that toaster in the window"
2 Comments, 97 Views,
9 Votes
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ex wife 6/6/2007
a man and his wife are dinning at a plush restaurant and the
husband kept staring at a drunken old lady swigging her
gin she was sitting all alone his wife asked "do you
know her? "yes answered the husband "she's
my ex wife she srarted drinking after we divorced 7 years
ago she hasn't been sober since" oh my god! says
the wife "thats along time to celebrate!
0 Comments, 66 Views,
6 Votes
,1.66 Score
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blow-up-doll 6/6/2007
a man walks into a porn shop and asks for a blow-up-doll the
clerk says "would you like a muslim or american blow-up-doll?
he replies "whats the difference?" the clerk
simply says "the muslim on blows herself up"
0 Comments, 70 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score
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bear on the roof 6/6/2007
a man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof so he looks
in the yellow pages and sure enough theres an ad for "Bear
Removers" he calls the number the bear remover says
he'll be over in 30 minutes the bear remover arrives
and gets out of his van he's got a ladder a baseball bat
a shotgun and a mean old pit bull dog "what are you going
to do the home owner asks? i'm going to put this ...
1 Comments, 58 Views,
9 Votes
,2.57 Score
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A time piece with a difference 6/6/2007
One day, back in the olden days, a cowboy was crossing the
desert to do some trading and came upon an Indian. The Indian
was laying on his back and had an erection that stuck straight
up in the air. The cowboy asked the Indian what he was doing. The Indian replied, "Me tell-um time." This
made sense to the cowboy, he was using his penis as a sundial.
A few days later, after completing his ...
0 Comments, 52 Views,
2 Votes
,0.34 Score
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Extra Large Condoms 6/6/2007
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if
he sells size extra large condoms. He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait around
here until someone does?
2 Comments, 80 Views,
7 Votes
,1.51 Score
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Sign Language 6/6/2007
Two deaf people got married. During the first week of marriage,
they found they were unable to communicate in the bedroom
when they turn the lights off because they can't see
each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings,
the wife decides to find a solution. "Honey, "
she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple
signals? For instance, at night, if ...
0 Comments, 38 Views,
4 Votes
,1.30 Score
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An Accidental Encounter 6/6/2007
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps
into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into
her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says,
"Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast,
I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow,
I'm in room ...
0 Comments, 41 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Take Careful Aim 6/6/2007
A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his
rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show
him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This
scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that
hill." The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" asks the clerk. "I see a naked man and a naked woman running ...
0 Comments, 43 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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Desparate Measures 6/6/2007
A couple were having financial problems until finally
they couldn't stand it any more. The husband said to
his wife that is was necessary for her to make some money
through to get by. So the husband drove her to the place where she had to do the
job and in the evening he picked her up again. "So, how much have you earned today?" the husband
asked. "Well", the woman responded, "I've
made one ...
0 Comments, 36 Views,
3 Votes
,0.49 Score
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At The Counsellor's Office 6/6/2007
A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor.
The counsellor asks the wife what is the problem. She responds " My husband suffers from premature
ejaculation." The counsellor turns to her husband and inquires "Is
that true?" The husband replies "Well not exactly, it's
her that suffers not me."
0 Comments, 32 Views,
1 Votes
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Mailmans last day 6/6/2007
It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years
of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the
same neighbourhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted
by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent
him on his way with a big gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box of fine
cigars. The folks at the third house handed ...
3 Comments, 83 Views,
11 Votes
,3.73 Score
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There was a guy riding through the desert 6/6/2007
There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He
had been travelling so long that he felt the need to have
sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert so the man
turned to his camel. He tried to position himself to have sex with his camel but
the camel ran away. The man ran to catch up to the camel and
got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was feeling
the urge to have sex ...
1 Comments, 46 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
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The Romantic Husband 6/6/2007
Husband and wife in bed together. She feels his hand rubbing her shoulder. She: "Oh, that feels good."
His hand moves to her breast. She: "Gee, honey, that feels wonderful."
His hand moves to her leg. She: "Oh, honey, don't stop."
But he stops. She: "Why did you stop?"
He: "I found ...
1 Comments, 159 Views,
11 Votes
,3.92 Score
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road 6/6/2007
why did bubba cross the road? his dick was stuck in the chicken
0 Comments, 18 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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a lady to smart to fall for the old routine! 6/6/2007
the pickup truck coasted to a stop by the edge of the road
"we're out of gas "said the young man smiling
wickedly "yeah i thought you just might be "the
girl replied pulling a flask from her purse "yeah
baby the young man exclaimed ehat have you got? vodka? gin?
whiskey? the girl smiled wide "89 octane unleaded"
0 Comments, 29 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Angry Sex 6/6/2007
A woman went to her psychiatrist because she was having
severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked
her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear
picture of her problems. Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's
face while you are having sex?" "Well, yes, I did once." "Well, how did he look?" "Very angry." At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really ...
0 Comments, 87 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Irishman & the Blonde 6/6/2007
One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island
for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought
to himself, "It's certainly too small to be a
ship." And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small
boat and even a raft.
Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black
clad figure.
Putting aside the scuba ...
0 Comments, 64 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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POEM! 6/6/2007
A man making the Bar scene, was fairly intoxicated when
he went into a popular night spot. The bartender refused
to serve him and told him he should go home.
Man: My wife will kill me.
Bartender: Take her some candy.
Man: She is on a diet.
Bartender: Take her some flowers.
Man: She has allergies.
Bartender: Tell her a poem.
Man: She ...
0 Comments, 51 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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fairytales 6/6/2007
what is the difference between a northern fairytale and
a southern fairytale? a northern fairlytale begins with
"once upon a time" and a southern fairytale
begins with".. "Y'all ain't gonna
believe this shit"
0 Comments, 14 Views,
0 Votes
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salt lick 6/6/2007
a rancher has a bull that won't breed cows in the heard
his vet gives him a medicated salt lick for the bull to try
the first time the bull licks the block of salt the bull immediatly
fucks every cow in the pasture while continuing to use the
salt lick the bull jumps the fences crosses into other ranches
and fucks everything he can mount amazed a neighbor asks
the rancher what is in the salt ...
0 Comments, 39 Views,
0 Votes
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