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WHY DOES SHE HIDE EGGS? 3/11/2007
Why does the Easter
bunny hide all her eggs?
She doesnt want anyone to know she is fuckin a chicken.....
0 Comments, 93 Views,
5 Votes
,1.84 Score
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Mad Cow Disease 3/10/2007
A female TV reporter arranged for an interview with a farmer,
seeking the main cause of Mad Cow disease.
The Lady: "Good evening, sir. I am here to collect
information on the possible source of Mad Cow Disease.
Can you offer any reason for this disease?"
The Farmer stared at the reporter and said: "Do you
know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?"
The lady reporter (obviously ...
1 Comments, 113 Views,
7 Votes
,5.84 Score
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Nicoderm 3/9/2007
Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals. One of them looks at the other one's penis
and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on it. He looks
at the other priest and says "I believe you're
supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not down
there!"
The other priest replies, "Its working just fine,
I'm down to two butts a day."
0 Comments, 77 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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Bubba 3/9/2007
Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor
grill and cook a venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors
were Catholic.... and since it was Lent, they were forbidden
from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the
grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the
Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.
The Priest came to visit Bubba and ...
0 Comments, 71 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Squirrel 3/8/2007
A little girl walked in on her mother naked and she asked
mom what is that? The mom responded that is my little brown
Squirrel. The same little girl later that day walked in
on her grandmother naked and asked grandma what is that?
She responed that is my little gray Squirrel. The little
girl asked grandma why is yours gray and mommy's is
brown? The grandmother replied because her's hasn't ...
3 Comments, 183 Views,
8 Votes
,4.41 Score
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confession 3/8/2007
The priest of a local church was invited golfing with some
friends, but realised that it was during the same hours
that he does confession. Not wanting to miss the golf he
convinced the church janitor to sit in and do confession
for him. He wrote down evey sin he could think of and the resolution
for each one as well. The first person to enter told the janitor
he had stolen something from a ...
0 Comments, 113 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
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Miss Beatrice, the church organist 3/7/2007
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties
and had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness
and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call
on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She
invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister
noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. ...
0 Comments, 99 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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69 - a ripper 3/7/2007
A girl takes her boyfriend home, they go into the bedroom
and she immediately suggests that they do 69. "69? What the hell is that?", the boy asked the
girl. Realizing that he wasn't experienced, she tells him.
"I place my head between your legs and you place yours
between mine." Still not knowing what she was talking about, and not wanting
to ruin the moment, the boy agrees. Just as they get ...
1 Comments, 125 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score
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Touching 3/7/2007
A very touching Story
In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating
from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he
came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the
air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot, and found
a large piece of wood deeply ...
0 Comments, 76 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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A bad day 3/6/2007
In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always
died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m.,
regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something
to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as
to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m. on; Sunday, so a worldwide
team of experts was assembled to investigate ...
0 Comments, 110 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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Not one question 3/5/2007
The mayor of Phoenix was very worried about a plague of pigeons
in Phoenix. The mayor could not remove the pigeons from
the city. All of Phoenix was full of pigeon poop. The people
of Phoenix couldn't walk on the sidewalks drive on
the roads.
It was costing a fortune to try to keep the streets and sidewalks
clean.
One day a man came to City Hall and offered the Mayor a proposition.
"I ...
0 Comments, 76 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score
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Deer Roping 3/5/2007
Deer Roping > I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it
in a stall,
> feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it
and eat it. The
> first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured
that since
> they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem
to have much fear
> of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come
right up and ...
0 Comments, 77 Views,
2 Votes
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Ever wonder what your partner is really saying? 3/5/2007
Did you come? == Because I didn't. I have something to tell you. == Get tested. I'm a Romantic. == I'm poor. I'll give you a call. == I'd rather have my nipples
eaten off by wild dogs than see you again. Trust me. == I'm cheating on you. I love you. == You're a good lay. I think we should just be friends. == You're ugly. Haven't I seen you before? == Nice ass. I want to make love to you. == Let's ...
0 Comments, 68 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Female Urologist 3/4/2007
There are over 11, 000 male urologists in the US. But now
a few women have entered the field.
A man goes to a female urologist for an exam. The female doctor
says, "I am going to check your prostate today, but
this new procedure is a little different from what you are
probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend
your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep ...
0 Comments, 104 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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Teeth 3/3/2007
Teeth
A little boy goes shopping with his mother and is standing
outside of the ladies dressing room waiting for his Mom
to come out. While waiting the little boy gets bored and
just when his Mom comes walking out, she sees her sliding
his hand up a mannequin's skirt. "Get your hand
out of there!" she shouts. "Don't you know
that women have teeth down there?" The little boy
quickly snatches ...
1 Comments, 171 Views,
6 Votes
,2.80 Score
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Verge ! 3/3/2007
A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was
Jesus' mother's name?" One answered, "Mary." The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus'
father's name was?" A little said, "Verge." Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
The said, "Well, you know they are always talking
about Verge n' Mary.
0 Comments, 89 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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in church 3/3/2007
IN CHURCH 3-year-old, Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name. Amen."
0 Comments, 57 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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That's OK! 3/3/2007
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't
worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
0 Comments, 48 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Tenth Commandment ! 3/3/2007
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou
shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."
0 Comments, 75 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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christian home! 3/3/2007
After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of
the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally,
the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a christian
home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
0 Comments, 55 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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Forgive us! 3/3/2007
One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those
who put trash in our baskets."
0 Comments, 29 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Deliver us! 3/3/2007
I had been teaching my three-year old , Caitlin,
the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each
word right up to the end of the prayer: "Lead us not
into temptation, " she prayed, "but deliver
us some E-mail.
0 Comments, 58 Views,
5 Votes
,3.14 Score
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Because! 3/3/2007
A Sunday school teacher asked her , as they were
on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
0 Comments, 45 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
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Hushers! 3/3/2007
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel
were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
0 Comments, 54 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Jesus! 3/3/2007
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'"
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan,
you be Jesus!"
0 Comments, 40 Views,
3 Votes
,2.94 Score
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Back from heaven! 3/3/2007
A father was at the beach with his when the four-year-old ran up to him, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the asked.
"He died and went to Heaven, " the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"
0 Comments, 37 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Prayer! 3/3/2007
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old
and said, "Would you like to say the blessin "I wouldn't
know what to say, " the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say, " the wife
answered. The bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to
dinner?"
0 Comments, 47 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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Green Spots 3/3/2007
A woman goes to her doctor's office, afraid of the strange
development on the inside of her thighs. A green spot on
the inside of each.
They won't wash off, they won't scrape off, and
they seem to be getting worse.
The doctor assures her he'll get to the bottom of the
problem, and tells her not to worry until the tests come
back.
A few days later, the woman's ...
0 Comments, 89 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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The Cowboy Boots 3/2/2007
(Anyone who has ever dressed a will love this one!)
Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one
of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?
He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling
and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want
to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked
up a sweat. She almost cried when the little ...
0 Comments, 92 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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GAY ??? 3/1/2007
I'm in love with my , " the nervous man told his psychiatrist. "Nothing to worry about, " the psychiatrist
consoled. "Many people are fond of animals. As a matter
of fact, my wife and I have a that we are very attached
to."
"But, doctor, " continued the troubled patient,
"I feel ummm, ... *physically* attracted to my !"
"Hmmm, " the doctor asked, "Is it male
or female?"
"Female, of ...
0 Comments, 190 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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